I know this is shocking to all parents out there but your kids and my kids will misbehave. They will be disobedient and do many things on an almost daily basis that will be the exact opposite from what we want and expect. The most commonly used approach by most parents is behavioral. We come up with consequences and punishments that are intended to either decrease or stop the negative behaviors. Consequences for negative behaviors are necessary and can be helpful but they don’t typically result in any lasting change. A behavioral approach to parenting falls far short from addressing the underlying issue that is driving the negative behaviors. True change in our kids’ lives will come when we dig deep down with them and point out to them that their heart is the issue. The heart is the seat of their will where their desires and motives reside and are responsible for everything they want and do including their misbehaviors. If we want to see true change; like them listening to our advice and requests or treating their siblings with kindness and love, we are going to have to point them to their need for transformed and new hearts with new desires and motives.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Book of Proverbs