By Dan Larazzabal, LCSW
Remember the good old days when we were kids and sleep came easy? Jumping into bed meant we were welcomed with a warm hug that drifted us off into dreamland. Then, when we woke up, we had what felt like an infinite amount of energy, yet once we got right back into bed, it was off to dreamland once more. This cycle was a little disrupted when we were teenagers; maybe we got less sleep, but all-nighters did not dampen the amount of energy you had during the day. Now, in adulthood, we have been given a rude awakening: we struggle to fall asleep, let alone stay asleep! Sleep becomes a paradox: the more we need it, the less we get. Every night is filled with tossing and turning, and mornings are nothing but groggy, sluggish, and unproductive. If this sounds familiar, thankfully you aren’t alone. Nearly 1 in 3 adults struggle to get enough sleep every day. Therefore, it’s my job as a sleep therapist to give you some strategies to help you reclaim that blissful feeling of a good night’s sleep and the rejuvenating energy it brings to your days.
For Better Nights
- Become a Creature of Habit: Our bodies are built for routines. Try to set consistent sleep schedules going to sleep around the same time every day. Trying to ‘make up’ hours over the weekends is a bad idea that only disrupts your sleep schedule!
- Craft a Sleep Sanctuary: Make your bedroom a place for only sleep! Keep it dark, cool (around 60-65°F), and electronics-free (blue light emitted from phones and TVs can disrupt your sleep cycle). Never try to force yourself to sleep. If you can’t doze off, leave the room, do something relaxing, then come back until you’re truly sleepy.
- Unplug & Unwind: An hour before bed, try to avoid screens and relax with calming activities like reading a book, journaling, listening to music, or a podcast. This will help prepare your brain for sleep.
- Calm Your Mind: Stress is a notorious sleep disruptor, which can create a relentless cycle of getting stressed, losing sleep, and getting stressed that you’re losing sleep! Thankfully, we have several therapy tools that can help calm our minds. Deep breathing, by inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth or progressive muscle tensing where you tense your muscles and relax them starting from your head and moving down to your toes have been shown to be effective in temporarily relieving stress.
For Better Days. . .
- Move Your Body, But Wisely: After waking up, it’s essential to get out of bed and start moving. Exercise is a fantastic way to build up energy for the day and is also great for sleep. Starting the day with stretches and a jog can get those endorphins pumping leading to better mood and mental clarity; however, you should try avoiding strenuous workouts too close to bedtime, about a couple hours before bed.
- The Power of the Shower: Our bodies like to feel cool before bed, therefore a warm shower a couple of hours before can cause that temporary temperature drop that signals our bodies that it’s time to sleep. Conversely, cold showers right after waking up are great for an energy surge. While not for everyone, they can be a great boost to your energy by increasing blood circulation, alertness, and focus, offering a much healthier approach to the morning coffee.
- Sunshine is Your Best Friend: Get natural sunlight exposure early in the day. Even if you work remotely from home, take some time to bask in the sun during the day. This helps regulate your body’s natural sleep-wake cycle, making it easier to fall asleep at night. Try to get at least 15 minutes of sunlight after you wake up. Studies have shown that at least 30 minutes of daily sunlight exposure is enough to drastically improve your sleep quality.
- The Afternoon Nap: Naps can be a sleep-saver but keep them short and sweet – 20-30 minutes is ideal. Any longer, and you risk waking up groggy and interfering with nighttime sleep. Avoid naps around 8 hours before you typically go to sleep to avoid disruptions. This usually means sometimes around 3:00 pm for most people.
- What You Eat (and Drink) Matters: Avoid heavy meals (3 hours), alcohol (4 hours), and caffeine (6 hours) before bedtime. These substances can impact your sleep quality and leave you waking up restless. Small snacks are okay around an hour before bed if they aren’t spicy or acidic, as these kinds of foods can trigger stomach problems and insomnia.
Remember, this does not happen overnight.
Good sleep skills take time, just like learning to ride a bike. While we all wish that these strategies could work by tomorrow; in reality, some practice over the course of a few days, up to a week, may be needed. Remember not to beat yourself up if things don’t quite work right the first time. Instead, be kind to yourself and celebrate the small wins whether it be sleeping an hour earlier or holding off on that beer before bed—these small things are worth celebrating.
Still Can’t Fall Asleep?
If, after a few weeks of trying these sleep strategies, the issues continue, then it’s time to seek a professional for help. Although this guide can provide you with some general tips and tricks to sleep better, a sleep therapist can dig deeper into the problem and provide a more personalized approach to solve your specific sleep problems.
Dan Larrazabal, LCSW, is a therapist with MedPsych Behavioral Health based in northern New Jersey. He specializes in treating adolescents and adults in a range of areas including insomnia, anxiety, depression, life transitions, and addiction and recovery.
